a writer's wardrobe: Wine, wine, wine.. but still looking fine!

Let’s be honest you were completely fabulous last night, partying like the true queen you are. But how does a girl go from martinis to marvelous the following day? Read first hand experience from Yours Truly on how to remain a fashionista despite a large night of frivolous fun.

At this present moment I am inelegantly sprawled on the top of my bed, fully clothed, (highest of heels still on) with a dire hangover made up of a splitting headache relative to a large night of disco dancing, 3.5 hours of sleep and copious amounts of Sauvignon Blanc. It seems that last nights antics have left me feeling a tad, ahem, disheveled. What makes matters considerably worse is that my ever-so-lovely alarm sounded its perfectly-peaceful-and-not-remotely-ear-piercing sound fifteen minutes ago (indeed I have snoozed three times; the first merely a reflex from my drunken stupor and the other two were, sadly, failed attempts to drift back to a ‘no work and all play’ fantasy land.)

So facing the cruel reality of having to go to work on this god-awful day, I begrudgingly hurl my dead weight body off my doona, unsuccessfully trying to avoid heinous reminders of how drunk I was last night (unfortunately, the dirty McDonald’s brown paper bag unkindly informs me that I was shockingly THAT girl). So ignoring my unequivocally detestable headache, I peek into my wardrobe, brainstorming a suitable outfit to wear to work that soothes my less-than-stella mood. And then, as if on cue, the ever

infamous ‘light bulb moment’ occurs. Look, I swear there is a drum roll

leading up to this point but I cannot be certain it isn’t just the ringing in my ears from all the blaring dance floor beats. But you get the point- I had a brilliant idea. What IS the perfect post-partying outfit? How DOES a girl still ooze style when she feels like she has been hit by a very large and unforgiving truck? And, more importantly, WHY has no one ever told us partying gals how to do this! So I have taken it upon myself to put together a few must have’s and must never’s for the woman who likes a wine (as well as the remaining bottle) but who still wants to look fashionable the next day. Be it work or play, you will never again have to leave the house looking like you slept in a gutter and shampooed your hair with champagne.

You’re welcome.

Nothing too bright please- The thought of a sparkling dress or a floral blouse is sending me mildly insane. Let it be known; a hung-over mind cannot cope with anything bright, flashy or, god forbid, glittery. So today is clearly not the day to be testing out those impulse-buy, polka-dot-patterned pants. I highly suggest neutral colours. However, avoid looking dull by adding a hint of colour, preferably in the subdued shade spectrum. For example, choose mustard or soft lemon instead of bright yellow, pastel pink as opposed to magenta, that sort of thing. Give your pounding head a fighting chance of surviving the day!

Nothing super-skin tight- After a night of mindless drinking, it is

recommended, and probably best for all, to steer clear of any ‘I’m struggling

to breathe’ skin tight garments. Firstly, like a beer belly, wine can be just as

mean on the midriff, and secondly, I do not need to cut off any air supply to already-struggling organs. Need I also bring up the mortifying ‘fast food package in the bed’ situation? Trust me, it is best to keep such drunken behavior a secret; cheeseburgers aren’t that chic. So hide the number of wines and late night snacks you gave in too, by wearing clothes a little more comfortable and with a bit more room to move. Imagine a long wrap sweater, a top that gently releases below the bustline (not balloons out), a stylish caftan or even a neutral poncho. Save the tighter-fitting outfits for the days you haven’t splurged on excess alcohol or naughty food.

Sunglasses- We all know that there should only be one bag on a lady; and that is delicately strung over her shoulder, not under her eyes. Please cover up those dark circles and unsightly (no pun intended) blood shot eyes with a pair of designer shades, darling.

The delightful Jackie O always knew the importance of oversized, black shades. She could have been hungover and we would have been none the wiser!

A shoulder bag- A medium-sized, classic shoulder bag is pivotal in carrying the hangover essentials including but not limited to:

            Perfume- Kill the stink. No one wants to smell like a 50-something balding man who practically lives in the local pub.

            Nurofen- Keep the headache at bay, pop these pills on the hour every hour. Well maybe not literally. No one wants their stomach pumped after abusing over-the-counter pharmaceutical drugs, but you get my drift. These bad boys

are essential.

Water/Hydrolyte- Rehydrate. Rehydrate. Rehydrate. H20 is also needed to wash down those miracle-working Nurofen tablets in SAFE doses throughout the day.

            Eye drops- Liquid love for the sleep deprived. Invest a.s.a.p.

Scarf- For the girl who, with the help from her friends, Vodka and Tequila, may get a tad too close on the dance floor. Yep, scarves are essential to cover the “oh no” rash from the disco pash. In addition to hiding ‘hickies’ and other lust bites, scarves are also comforting! Consider them as teddy bears for your neck.

Shoes- Shoes are a woman’s best friend, as a dog is his. But after many festive hours in an incredibly high and oh-so-fabulous heel, we begin to think otherwise. So treat your toes the following day to a snug pair of flats. Try wearing a cute ballet slipper or my favourite, leather brogues. If the weather permits, nothing is more soothing than popping your feet into a wooly sock and slipping it inside a winter boot or even a Dr. Marten.