Let’s
be honest you were completely fabulous last night, partying like the true queen
you are. But how does a girl go from martinis to marvelous the following day?
Read first hand experience from Yours Truly on how to remain a fashionista
despite a large night of frivolous fun.
At this present moment I am inelegantly sprawled on the
top of my bed, fully clothed, (highest of heels still on) with a dire hangover
made up of a splitting headache relative to a large night of disco dancing, 3.5
hours of sleep and copious amounts of Sauvignon Blanc. It seems that last
nights antics have left me feeling a tad, ahem, disheveled. What makes matters
considerably worse is that my ever-so-lovely alarm sounded its perfectly-peaceful-and-not-remotely-ear-piercing
sound fifteen minutes ago (indeed I have snoozed three times; the first merely
a reflex from my drunken stupor and the other two were, sadly, failed attempts
to drift back to a ‘no work and all play’ fantasy land.)
So facing the
cruel reality of having to go to work on this god-awful day, I begrudgingly
hurl my dead weight body off my doona, unsuccessfully trying to avoid heinous
reminders of how drunk I was last night (unfortunately, the dirty McDonald’s
brown paper bag unkindly informs me that I was shockingly THAT girl). So
ignoring my unequivocally detestable headache, I peek into my wardrobe,
brainstorming a suitable outfit to wear to work that soothes my less-than-stella
mood. And then, as if on cue, the ever
infamous ‘light bulb moment’
occurs. Look, I swear there is a drum roll
leading up to this point but I
cannot be certain it isn’t just the ringing in my ears from all the blaring
dance floor beats. But you get the point- I had a brilliant idea. What IS the perfect
post-partying outfit? How DOES a girl still ooze style when she feels like she
has been hit by a very large and unforgiving truck? And, more importantly, WHY has no one ever
told us partying gals how to do this! So I have taken it upon myself to put
together a few must have’s and must never’s for the woman who likes a wine (as
well as the remaining bottle) but who still wants to look fashionable the next
day. Be it work or play, you will never
again have to leave the house looking like you slept in a gutter and shampooed
your hair with champagne.
You’re welcome.
Nothing
too bright please-
The thought of a sparkling dress or a floral blouse is sending me mildly
insane. Let it be known; a hung-over mind cannot cope with anything bright,
flashy or, god forbid, glittery. So today is clearly not the day to be testing
out those impulse-buy, polka-dot-patterned pants. I highly suggest neutral
colours. However, avoid looking dull by adding a hint of colour, preferably in
the subdued shade spectrum. For example, choose mustard or soft lemon instead
of bright yellow, pastel pink as opposed to magenta, that sort of thing.
Give your pounding head a fighting chance of surviving the day!
Nothing
super-skin tight-
After a night of mindless drinking, it is
recommended, and probably best
for all, to steer clear of any ‘I’m struggling
to breathe’ skin tight
garments. Firstly, like a beer belly, wine can be just as
mean on the midriff, and
secondly, I do not need to cut off any air supply to already-struggling organs.
Need I also bring up the mortifying ‘fast food package in the bed’ situation?
Trust me, it is best to keep such drunken behavior a secret; cheeseburgers
aren’t that chic. So hide the number of
wines and late night snacks you gave in too, by wearing clothes a little more
comfortable and with a bit more room to move. Imagine a long wrap sweater, a
top that gently releases below the bustline (not balloons out), a stylish
caftan or even a neutral poncho. Save the tighter-fitting outfits for the days
you haven’t splurged on excess alcohol or naughty food.
Sunglasses- We all know that there should
only be one bag on a lady; and that is delicately strung over her shoulder, not
under her eyes. Please cover up those dark circles and unsightly (no pun
intended) blood shot eyes with a pair of designer shades, darling.
The delightful Jackie O always knew the importance of oversized, black shades. She could have been hungover and we would have been none the wiser!
A
shoulder bag- A
medium-sized, classic shoulder bag is pivotal in carrying the hangover
essentials including but not limited to:
Perfume- Kill the stink. No one
wants to smell like a 50-something balding man who practically lives in the
local pub.
Nurofen- Keep the headache at bay,
pop these pills on the hour every hour. Well maybe not literally. No one wants
their stomach pumped after abusing over-the-counter pharmaceutical drugs, but
you get my drift. These bad boys
are essential.
Eye
drops- Liquid
love for the sleep deprived. Invest a.s.a.p.
Scarf- For the girl who, with the help
from her friends, Vodka and Tequila, may get a tad too close on the dance
floor. Yep, scarves are essential to cover the “oh no” rash from the disco
pash. In addition to hiding ‘hickies’ and other lust bites, scarves are also
comforting! Consider them as teddy bears for your neck.
Shoes-
Shoes are a
woman’s best friend, as a dog is his. But after many festive hours in an
incredibly high and oh-so-fabulous heel, we begin to think otherwise. So treat
your toes the following day to a snug pair of flats. Try wearing a cute ballet
slipper or my favourite, leather brogues. If the weather permits, nothing is
more soothing than popping your feet into a wooly sock and slipping it inside a
winter boot or even a Dr. Marten.
Twiggy shows us how it's done: leather brogues AND soft lemon pants.
These Prada boots will lift your spirits in no time!
Now that you have all the
foolproof tips and tricks, from one dapper-disco-diva to another- never let a
hangover ruin your outfit!
